Can Code Disable Code?

Consider a situation.

A web site, on the first login for a user, displays

"Hello Sam!. This is the first time u are using the portal. Let us guide u thru....and blah blah".

On the next log in it reads "Welcome back Sam"

In contemporary code such a simple thing could be done by keeping track of ones login attempts. But what is actually needed is a mechanism which runs thru the code to do the former only once and the latter every time hence.

I am not talking about using an If with a condition. What is actually needed is a mechanism such that the if itself is eliminated. i.e the code is disabled all together. Then it wont need a check in the first place and probably the complexities of computing an If condition are avoided altogether. Would the code not be more efficient?

IS SUCH A THING POSSIBLE?

~ Dead Pep

Life @ MIT

Its after a long time that I've logged into blogger. Wanted to post this MIT video I found on GV.

Check the Video
If the embedded player doesn't play...

Ya, thats our college

Somebody sent the link to a google video. They said its about college. Did not bother much about it. Then i decided to complete all my pending items. And somehow this came up again.

yes, i guess most of them have seen it. Ok i had. Anyway i saw the video today. And it was the same video we had seen just after getting out of college. If not anythin, the babe is cute :) after all thats that matter, right???

Check the video

Transcendental Oblivion

The mind gets dizzy, emotions swell, the gut wrenches and I am filled with nausea. I get up with wet armpits and sweat on my brow. It has been a nightmare.... Yeah, sure it was a nightmare. I get thinking.

Where am I?, I wonder.
My life flashes in front my of eyes. I wanted to go there. I started somewhere, with my mind everywhere, I reached nowhere .. But I still go on.
This oblivion is anything but bliss. I think I know but I cant recall. I know I know but I cant do. This bliss is perennial atrophy and I search for some answers at this unearthly hour.

The pursuit is relentless. The search is on. For what? "No one" knows.
Life goes on. We live and we die. Why? "No one" knows.
Dawn - Dusk and Dawn again. The cycle continues. Till when? "No one" knows.

This "No one" is everyone. In me - in you and in everything in between.
Life is nothing but a quasi-emotional journey of pseudo-intellecutal beings trying to fit in anything but their own shoes.

What do I want to say? "No one" knows.

~ Dead Pep

Useless Talk

Ya, had work. Loads of it. Finally, yesterday my manager decided to give me a deadline. After 2 months of me torturing him, he decided to finally call it a day by deadlining my work. And guess what, the deadline was for today :). Yes, and that was the reason i have been here sitting, doing work (the italics mean sarcastic ;)).which I had promised to deliver to him 2 months back.

Anyway, hav a GREAT weekend filled with as much sleep as possible!!!

Good night,

Snoring off....Uselessly of course

Truth's experiments with Me

Today was just another day... atleast that is what I told myself when I woke up in the morning. Having an irresistible urge to call in sick, I thought.

The "headache" was an overused reason and my boss could have seen through the facade when I would have called.. could not use that. Well, maybe dyslexia - and forgetting the office address.. or maybe where I kept my new pair of underpants... but I get that almost every day when I attend those so-called boring "leadership" meetings. That would not have worked either. While my brain calculated the energy required to come up with a good reason and the ROI involved, mother nature called and my bowels started churning. This was it. The final sign that my cubicle beckoned me.

My cubicle. Ah! my cubicle. Just like one would test the water before entering the bathtub, I check the aura around before I venture out there. Today seemed regular. My neighbors were all busy with their headsets on babbling incoherently at a conference. I took this chance to slip in un-noticed and try to gel in the surroundings. Just then the fat lady across stood up and called "Raaaavi, you are not in the meeting?". My reflexes kicked in.... "I am...". Someone, once said that an offense is the best defence but this was not good enough. Denying the symptoms does not rid oneself of the disease but as humans usually do.. i hoped.. Hoped that my ploy would work.. hoped that the fat lady whose response to stimulus is like the cow, who does not budge even if a crow is shitting all over its back, would buy my con. But the almighty was not so generous today. She had a puzzled look over her face, as if she was saying to herself "I know I am an ass, but here comes the smart-ass". I brusquely added... "(I am... ).. just joining in." Sigh, so much for the mastermind.

I resigned to my fate and barked... "Hello, this is Pep joining in".

~Dead Pep.

Drunkards' meet

First of all, to answer RGB's question. No, i did not enter the MIT Wikipedia entry.

Anyway wanted to mention, some (some persons from 2003 Comps) of us went on a trip to PVR, Bangalore. Yup, we watched Rang De Basanthi. I hope the Dead Pep, RGB, Harsh and Ajja saw it. After that Garga treated us in Bamboo Shoots (ya silly, they do provide things other than bamboo preparations :) ). We had Prem, Rocky (Bow wow), Butt, Naik and Melwyn. 530 was missing, he had gone to look at a girl, and is currently busy preparing for his marriage... Please do not spread the word as he may not want to tell everybody at such an early stage!!! Do mail him privately asking about it.

Anyway we had a good GREAT time. And for the first time there was no booze involved (How surprising, right!!!, otherwise we always used to meet in some pub). Anyway the movie was good, suggest you guys should watch it.

Coming back to the movie, i was able to relate myself and my life with 2 persons of their group:

• The smoker, guess you guys know why :).
• Yes, and i cried during the course of another scene. Ya, i know you wont believe me. But when that guy (Sukhi, if i remember right) told "Yaar, main to kunwara hi marne wala hun" i just could not help the tears rolling from my eyes. What a waste of d*@#

Anyway, until next time,

ta

uSELESS mORTAL signing in....

In a world filled with useful motals somebody has to balance the equillibrium. Yes, thats the reason Dead Pep pulled me in. And thats the reason i post to this blog. Yes, college was great. But others are there to write about that. I am here for one reason only and thats to bore you to the core. Ha, ya, hope that did frighten you off. (is that fear i see in your eyes?).

If you are still reading,
What should i write about? Or better, lets play a game. I have decided to give out a bumper prize to the one who finds the spelling mistake in the following para,

The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule.The world is full of useful people and usless mortal is an exception to this rule. Go to the start of this para.

That was an infinite for loop. Wanted to check as to when your stack will explode. He he.

Have'nt got rid of you yet.... Kewl, now u r a certified uSELESS aGENT. Please feel free to add this logo to your signatures:
uSELES aGENT

And do check these links out:

• Wiki's description of MIT, Manipal (yup i could add more, but i guess not all are high enough to enjoy the full meaning of all that i say).

technorati tags: Manipal friends, Manipal Institute of technology,

One crazy guy...

There has been some speculation offlate on who could be "one crazy guy". Well, as MITians, being what we are, we have an affinity towards madness and so this title is something that we hold dear to all our hearts..

You call yourself the smartest one, the most intellectual, the super-man... we dont care. But crazy.. nah.. that is our intellectual property... and you have just vioated it..

We command you to reveal yourself...

(Psst.. I got a hint that this guy could be "old" if not in real life but metaphorically atleast.)

~ Dead Pep

The Golden Jubilee

It was just another day when it began. I had overslept, ditched the bath, dabbed some deo, gulped some juice and made a dash to the office only to find my vintage computer rebooted and my fly open. I make a very (mind you I am using the word "very" here) strong effort not to cause any grievance to this beauty of an equipment and hence I never shut it off nor do I open two applications at the same time - be it an empty notepad or the bulky Siebel. But this day, babbage's invention had some other plans for me.

This marvel of technology had caught an unassuming me completely offguard by shutting off on the very day I was a quarter of an hour late for an important meeting. So, cursing my fate, I decided to boot it up. It whirred, nasalized and grumpily sprang to life. This is one machine that knows no bounds of time. It started after a whopping 10 minutes and by the time I checked my calendar, took a few prinouts the meeting had ended. My boss had a look on his face which could give a good diarrhoea to people with weak bowels. The look said it all. I was required to present an important part and so someone had to fill in for me and apparently it had not gone well.

After a grilling session in one of those conference halls on punctuality and professionalism, I returned to my dungeon which others call a cubicle. Ahoy, what do i see... A forward from one of my college mates about a cultural meet that was to be held in our college.... This is what the "official" mail read.

Dear MITIANS
MIT Manipal will be celebrating its GOlden Jubilee in 2007. It is going to be a yearlong programme where each dept will host workshops seminars or conferences followed by cultural progrmmes. alumni meet is organised for 4th and 5th May 2007. We cordially invite all our alumni to attend these programmes. we would like to inform you all about all the events. for that we need to update our alumni database. Please log onto www.manipal.edu Go to institutions then to MIT there click on alumni Link is given on the invitation to the Golden Jubilee if you find any problem to register, please let us know. Please do inform other MITIANS. thanks with best wishes
Mrs Gowda
Asst. Registrar


Well, the college, as it is called, is located in one of the most godforsaken lands on earth. If it were not for the few domesticated cows that shit on the college playgrounds, it could well be called a desert. Nevertheless, after reading the mail, I was flowing in a confluence of emotions - bitterness, bitterness and more bitterness. It took more from me that what it gave - 4 years of my life. The pot-bellied college professors (who had more hair on their heads than me), the ma'ams who could have been mascots for gilletes razors and the college library which was nothing more than a mating ground - all came seated in the first class coaches of the train of though that was whistling thru my head. The urge was uncontrollable and being a human, I had to give in... I shot of this in reply... My own version of the invite...

Dear MITans,

MIT is going to celebrate its centennary in 2057. It is going to be a decade long programme where each department willshowcase their achievements in the past 100 years but as there arenone we are going to just kill you with boredom.

Over the years we have grown.. as a college.. as an institution..moreso as a mint. It would not be an understatement if I were to saythat, If MIT were a country, we would have been the largest nation interms of GDP (based on purchasing power parity). The mere fact thatIndia still is an alsoran speaks volumes of our achievements.

We cordially invite all our alumni (whom we have robbed financiallyand deranged mentally) to attend these programmes ( or whatever)

Please log on to www.M_For_Manipal_Not_Masachussets_IT.edu. Click onthe "GET HOODWINKED" ikon on the topmost right corner and fill in yourdetails. To make it simple for the users, we have retained bankbalance as the only mandatory field. Do bear with us if it takes morethan a day to load the site. It was created by our brilliant studentsin conjunction with our illustrious faculty and is hosted in ourstate-of-the-art labs. A few minor glitches still exist but we shouldget over with them before our next centennary.

Please bring along with you a blank cheque drawn in the name of"Manipal Inst. of Tech." (make sure the Tech. remains Tech. and notTechnology) else you will be shot along with the thousands of rickshawowners we slaughter each year. Do not forget to get your dentures along.

With all my very sadistic wishes,
Secretary to the Asst of the Manager of Department of AlumniRelations and Communcations and the Chaos Ward.
Prof V.D. Venkata Balabhadrapadmanabhacharya. ( X, XII, Diploma, BE,ME, PhD and some more crap)


Just then I recalled the hostel life. Just reminscing about it gave me goose-flesh. The hostel pranks, the birthday bums, the wisecracks, the invectives hurled at each other and the time spent doing nothing useful seemed so enriching. When I was on the verge of nostalgia, another meeting invite popped up on my beautiful machine. I got back to what IT professionals call "work".

~Dead Pep